The man without his left arm leans into the back of his chair as if it's an extension of his torso. Often, the chair is his shoulder, the weight of his whole side supported. Sometimes, it is merely a grip, positioned to prevent from falling. Rarely, it is a cradle, spooning him across and sideways, and it cannot be a comfortable position for any but him. And never is the chair's back an actual back into which he reclines.
Whatever manner his body exists in the chair, it is always more relaxed than sitting. Nor does he ever really type. He mostly looks at the screen, furrowing his eye brows, or talks with people on the phone.
He is often visited by co-workers. There are five especially frequent guests, and he flirts with each, man or woman. They always laugh and joke and seem to get nothing done but leave happy - they always look healthier than he does.
He does a lot of traveling, it seems, and is probably either in the infrastructure research or marketing. He talks easily, and the story of his gone arm, which inevitably always comes up, is a quiet murmur reaching my notice.
He explains why he amputated it. He was probably in the army, and a shrapnel hit his arm and paralyzed it, shoulder down. It became useless, an uncontrollable appendage, throwing off his balance - so eventually, he decided to have it cut off.
Now, his face wears an imprint of good mood. He walks with a tilt, his head a little thrown back, lean and narrow like a bean.
He feels like a blabber mouth, someone well armed with BS. Is it a defense mechanism, or is it tolerated because of no arm?
Do people defer to him because he is brave in face of life, or because they are afraid of accidentally hurting someone who feels unequal to them, a cripple?
And how to let yourself use typical judgment on someone who is so obviously disadvantaged in comparison to yourself?
How to avoid defining him through the lack of his arm even though he so clearly lets it define himself.
No comments:
Post a Comment