Prompt: Osmosis

Prompt: Osmosis
Form: Epistle

At 12, your looking glass is pink and clear
Although the angle's off and blotched with blind spots...
You left me stranded.
I was at fault, I know that now
But still no guilt, and
No more trust in girls.

Hair of silk, a darling frown when deep in thought -
You took me cycling, only wanted love, tried to feel worthy...
I didn't help you, couldn't - saved yourself
You did, and now want another.
Such goodness, such whole heart, my dear friend
I'm never letting go.

I'd call us push & pull, but one side only both the actions undertakes -
Just mine. Our countless conversations, most you ended first,
Occasional exception - you, lying on the floor,
Grab my ankle: "See you soon?"
Those little drops of feeling keep me hooked.
Aloof, the only one I yearn to understand, but never could.
Exclusive, trusted, needed -
My want of past five years -
Unrequited.

My foreign summer - talented and fun,
Even as I led, I followed - did you notice?
You never needed people, yet they'd flock to you - replaceable,
Just as I.
Why are state lines impenetrable walls?
I miss our Slurpee trips.

My dear beloved, my inconsistent friend -
How to trust the one that hurts the most with unintended stabs?
You keep me safe enough to break me down.
With sweat and sighs we fix the mis-connections
And walking parallel try to cross our lines, or
At least, hold hands, graze fingertips, intentions.
Being 'us' is far from seamless,
But seeing how you make me smile,
I won't have any other to make me cry.